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First of all, I didn't understand how bedtime went down. Did they put the kids to sleep in their bed first and then join them later?


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Did I mention that 4am also happens to be the time when you realize you went to bed too late the night before and you don't have nearly enough hours of sleep left to make up for it and thus, the day ahead of you is bound to be a disaster?

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And how does one fall asleep to re-runs of Seinfeld in either of these scenarios?

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Plus, Mazzy's feet are always pressing against my back I have to turn away from her to protect the belly so I'm left trying to balance on a half inch of bed while literally getting kicked in the back, until slowly, slowly, I am edged out entirely.

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This is why, when Mazzy stumbles in at 4am and says in her most manipulatively adorable voice, "Can I sleep with you, Mommy?

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And thirdly, doesn't having kids in your bed rule out all opportunities for sex pretty much ever?

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